1. The songs "Mares eat oats and does eat oats" and "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" and various others.
2. How to keep myself and others awake while driving on a cousins trip in the middle of the night by counting and sorting all the cars that drove past us on the freeway.
3. To be daring enough to try new and interesting foods knowing that I have to lick my plate clean whether I like it or not; thus there aren't too many things that I wouldn't eat (that would explain my spare tire that won't go away).
4. How to compete. Whether it was from wrestling in my undies on the front lawn with Annie or races to the tree and back for change or even playing defense while grandpa taught the boys football routes.
5. How to admire the fancy things in life (i.e. The insides of glamorous hotel lobbies all over the world, beautiful exquisite gardens, the shoe department at Saks Fifth Ave and many more fine stores) and to enjoy the simple (often less expensive) things in life (i.e. premiere 1 motel rooms, sleeping under the stars on the side of the road somewhere in Arizona, and most importantly, FAMILY).
*Now tell me five things YOU have learned from Grandpa.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Corporal Punishment
Sara and I were driving back from California with Grandpa in his minivan and, when we were somewhere in the middle of the Nevada desert, Grandpa started asking us about corporal punishment.
He asked us if we were going to spank our kids or treat them like they're adults. Sara answered that we probably wouldn't spank our kids, but that we hadn't really talked much about it. Grandpa then said that we should expect to see our kids end up in prison or worse and he proceeded to push his corporal punishment theories on us for about an hour.
He finally proposed that I should interview Grandma and each of their six children regarding their views on the Spatting Machine and corporal punishment in general. One hour each. "Will you do it?" he asked me. I thought about it, debated whether to be honest or nice, and opted for honest. "Knowing myself, probably not."
Grandpa threw a tantrum. "Why do you think I take you on these trips?" he asked me. He emphasized that it's not easy for him—which was especially apparent on this trip, as he was coughing uncontrollably at times—and suggested that we should try a little harder to show our gratitude.
After his tirade, he went completely silent. Within the hour we found a hotel and I helped Grandpa to his room. When I got back to the room, Sara told me she was worried that we had really offended him, but, in the morning, everything was back to normal. Once we were on the road, I asked him if it was all an act and if it was just an attempt to manipulate us to get what he wanted.
His answer? "Yes."
He asked us if we were going to spank our kids or treat them like they're adults. Sara answered that we probably wouldn't spank our kids, but that we hadn't really talked much about it. Grandpa then said that we should expect to see our kids end up in prison or worse and he proceeded to push his corporal punishment theories on us for about an hour.
He finally proposed that I should interview Grandma and each of their six children regarding their views on the Spatting Machine and corporal punishment in general. One hour each. "Will you do it?" he asked me. I thought about it, debated whether to be honest or nice, and opted for honest. "Knowing myself, probably not."
Grandpa threw a tantrum. "Why do you think I take you on these trips?" he asked me. He emphasized that it's not easy for him—which was especially apparent on this trip, as he was coughing uncontrollably at times—and suggested that we should try a little harder to show our gratitude.
After his tirade, he went completely silent. Within the hour we found a hotel and I helped Grandpa to his room. When I got back to the room, Sara told me she was worried that we had really offended him, but, in the morning, everything was back to normal. Once we were on the road, I asked him if it was all an act and if it was just an attempt to manipulate us to get what he wanted.
His answer? "Yes."
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